Friday, June 29, 2007

The new dictionary



School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.

Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.

Father : A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc .: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions

1 comment:

  1. too good!! the best ones : atom bomb, yawn,compromise , criminal!!

    ReplyDelete